They say life is very short to be sad. I won’t disagree, I mean really sad is not a pleasant feeling. It just makes you feel worthless. What good is it then? But won’t we agree that even when we are sad we still have one thing happening, a feeling to feel happy again. That feeling is the one which beats our sadness. I feel the same today, maybe I might be happy, but I am alone, lonely and can’t even hope for someone to come and make me smile again. Reason being, I have lost them and did not even try to find them. They had told me that they would always be there. In all situations, in all problems but I pushed them away, they did come to make me happy again, but I was so content in being sad. I was worried and scared it might hurt them. I did not really mention what made me sad, it is the change.
I am changing and I fear of hurting anyone. I am too coward to end the change so I just get carried away. Now since I am alone and not hoping to wait for anyone, I just keep thinking how it feels like on being sad. It feels different I have been sad before but never at this intensity. I am remembering all the bad things that happened in my life but this change topped all the other events. My tears don’t come anymore, it’s time my eyes change now. They are getting more alert, more precise, more strong to sunlight, more inhuman. It’s just my brain left now, but it will go soon.
I try to remember the last time all events that happened. I try to remember something good but it never comes, all bad, things that I was guilty for. That just increases the level of sadness. This accumulated sadness is now converted to anger. This is the time when I know I have completed my change. I have a different power in me now. I am more strong, more dangerous, scary, I have become a monster. I don’t even know when I will feel happy again.